Of course, the first question is “Which one!” Rest assured, this one has not been covered to death or used in far too many movies.
The cafeteria’s got everything, it’s gonna drive me mad
‘Cause it looks just like a big Hawaiian party that my mother had
It’s like the worst Elvis film I’ve ever seen
Technicolor luau all on technicolor green
There’s camping trips and donkey rides and singing round the fire
And they signed me up for surfing but they can’t get me in the choir
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia
Dar Williams at her relentless, whimsical, and logical best. Alleluia is a neat little song about what happens to a teenage punk who makes it into heaven. Of course, they find love!
But there she was this morning, getting fitted for her wings
Leather boots, magenta hair and saying nasty things
I’d say she was an Angel but it’s stupid and it’s obvious
I said you’ll hate it here ’cause we’re the only ones like us
It’s crypto-fascist mania, it’s silicon deliria
Yeah, she said, you’re right, but I like the cafeteria
I’m not sure if the narrator is intended to be male or female, but since it’s Dar voicing it, I’ve always envisioned the narrator as a woman. When I realised that the gender wasn’t specified I tried picturing them as a boy and frankly I didn’t find it nearly as fun.
The music is quick, light, staccato, very pattery for the verses and rocky choral for the choruses. Very easy to listen to.
I’m convinced that the whole song exists for (or was generated from) to let us eye roll with the narrator about angelically cheesy jokes:
The waves are perfect and the sun will always shine
But there’s got to be more to death than surfing all the time
I know the signs of self-destruction so I try to stop each new kid
Don’t be like me, forever young, forever stupid
Yeah, I found love here but I’ll bet you’ll find it there
Where they don’t always make the same joke
Gee you make a heavenly pair
A fate worse than life!